Sermon - 3/16/2025 - "Why Does Love Feel So Hard?"

Why Does Love Feel So Hard?

Psalm 27; Luke 13:31-35

In the series “From Brokenness to Wholeness”

            Jodie was a high school girl with a flawless appearance. Her dad was a wealthy dentist; on the outside, she had her life altogether, but on the inside, she was very insecure and longed for the attention and affection of someone to validate her. To no one’s surprise, the captain of the school football team asked Jodie out for a date.

            Jodie was immediately in love. This boy, Kevin, had a chiseled body, was popular, and came from a wealthy family himself. All Jodie could talk about was how much she loved Kevin, how she waited at home each night for him to call or text, how she bought gifts for him for no reason.

            One day about two weeks later, Jodie’s mood changed. Kevin had broken up with her the night before over text. She confided in her best friend, “He said he no longer loves me, and it was time to move on. He said he didn’t want to get bogged down with a regular girlfriend. I loved him … I did everything for him. Why would he do this to me? Why didn’t he love me?”

            The pain of rejected love; it’s an awful pain.[i]

            You can see the pain in the face of a little boy who idolizes his Daddy. Daddy has told him every week they’d go to the ballpark on the weekend, and he’d teach him how to play baseball. But just like the weekend before, the boy stands alone by the window waiting with his bat and glove. On his face a single tear falls as he says to his mother, “Why doesn’t he want to be with me?” The pain of rejected love; it’s an awful pain.

Have you ever felt it and wondered why love can be so difficult?

Maybe you were deeply hurt by someone you trusted.

Maybe a friendship ended with words you can’t take back.

Maybe a family relationship has become strained, and you don’t know how to fix it.

Love is something we all long for, yet it can also be the source of our greatest wounds.

            Becky and I have been in a season of questioning and wondering. Some of you know that a few months ago our son Josh decided to leave the area and move back to be with his family of origin. He had told us about his plan, but he only gave us two hours’ notice before he actually moved. We talked to him or texted with him a couple of times that first week or so, but we hadn’t heard from him since early December – literally until yesterday, when we got a brief message. We find ourselves questioning if we did enough to love him and parent him. We pray he is well and wonder what we could have done differently. The pain of rejected love; it’s an awful pain.

Maybe you’ve been there, too—questioning love, struggling to trust again, wondering if healing is even possible.

The good news is that God understands this struggle. The Bible is filled with stories of people who wrestled with love and trust. Today’s passage gives us insight into how Jesus himself experienced rejection—yet responded with love.

            We all know how painful love can be:

            A parent and child whose relationship has grown distant

            A friend who walked away when you needed them most

            The pain of being misunderstood or excluded.

Loving others isn’t easy, especially in a world where hurt is real, and trust can be shattered.

Yet Psalm 27 reminds us: “The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear?” (Psalm 27:1)

Even when love is hard, God calls us to a deeper trust—not only in others, but in God, whose love never fails.

In Luke 13, Jesus is warned by the Pharisees, “Go somewhere else. Herod wants to kill you.” Jesus knows rejection. He came to bring love, to heal and to set people free. Instead, he faced betrayal, abandonment, and ultimately, the cross.

            Yet, his response was not bitterness. It was love.

            Jesus cries out: "Jerusalem, Jerusalem… how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing." (Luke 13:34)

Even after all the pain, Jesus still longed to gather and protect the very people who rejected Him.

This poignant image reveals something profound about the nature of God’s love – and our response to it. God doesn’t force love upon us. God offers it, like a mother hen offering protection to her chicks. Yet Jerusalem rejected this embrace.

Why? Why would anyone reject love and protection?

Because receiving love requires vulnerability. It means acknowledging our need. It means surrendering control.

Think about the difficulty of receiving help when you're ill, or accepting a compliment without deflecting it, or allowing someone to see your weaknesses. These small moments reveal our struggle with receiving love.

David understood this struggle. In Psalm 27, he writes of seeking God's face, yet in the same breath voices his fear: "Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger" (v.9). Even as he yearns for God's presence, a part of him fears rejection.

This is who we are as humans. We desire love but fear the vulnerability it requires. We want connection but worry about rejection. We long for intimacy but hesitate to surrender control.

The Pharisees came to Jesus and warned him to flee from Herod. But Jesus’ response is telling. Rather than retreating to safety, he presses forward with his mission. “I will keep on driving out demons and healing people today and tomorrow, and on the third day I will reach my goal.”

Loving others is inherently risky. It opens us to rejection, disappointment, and pain. Jesus knew this better than anyone. He came to his own, and his own received him not. He offered healing, and many turned away. He extended love and ultimately faced the cross.

Yet he continued loving. Why? Because love is at the core of who God is.

David captures this posture in Psalm 27:3: "Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then I will be confident."

This isn't naive optimism. It's rooted confidence that loving others, even when risky, aligns us with God's heart and purpose.

David, the king of Israel, knew something personal about the pain of rejected love. The story of his third son, Absalom, a handsome, charming, and popular young man, is largely told in the Old Testament book of 1 Samuel 13-19. Through a tragic series of events, David was forced to exile Absalom, but Absalom wasn’t having it. Over the next four years, he built alliances with others in the kingdom until he finally arranged for himself to be secretly crowned the king of Israel.

            Absalom returned to the capital in Jerusalem, and in fear, David fled. It is during this time of fear of and rejection by his son that David is believed to have written Psalm 27. While crying out for God to deliver him, David also expresses his confidence in God and in God’s faithfulness.

            Addressing the feeling of rejection, he declares, “If my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will take me up.”[ii] Even when human love fades, God’s love never fails. God’s love remains.

And that love gives us the strength to keep moving forward—to keep loving, even when it feels impossible.

            The sting of rejection is especially great when it comes from a parent to their child. When a boy named Amado was young teen, God sent a missionary to the Dominican Republic who shared the good news of Jesus with him. Angry his son became a Christian; Amado’s father rejected him and threw him out of the house. With no home and only two changes of clothes, Amado slept on the floor of the church. His mother would sneak him food, further angering his father. His mom’s anguish and stress brought on a fatal heart attack, leaving Amado a homeless orphan.

            With little more than a Bible, Amado began telling others about Jesus, and soon he found himself pastoring a small church of eight people. Pastor Amado met a Christian named Rafael, who mentored him and helped Amado understand that the church members were not there to meet the needs of the church but to help meet the needs of the community. Soon, his little church was growing as members reached their community by loving their neighbors as Jesus does.

            This included ministering to drug dealers and prostitutes as young as 12 years old who worked near the church. As the church grew, Christ’s love began to reach many more people, until one day, his love broke through the hardness of Amado’s father’s heart, restoring his relationship with his Creator and with his estranged son.

            It took relentless love – love that kept showing up, even when he rejected it – for his heart to finally open. That’s the kind of love God has for us.[iii]

            Maybe you’re struggling to trust again. Maybe today you’re holding on to past hurts, afraid to be vulnerable.

            Here’s what I want you to hear today: God’s love is still reaching for you.

            Just as Jesus longed to gather Jerusalem, God longs to heal your heart.

            Loving again after hurt isn’t easy, but it is possible.

            What does this mean for us as a church? Simply this: We the Church are called to be a healing community where we learn both to love and to be loved.

The world is full of broken relationships and guarded hearts, but we can be different.

Who do you know that needs to experience God’s love? Who needs to hear, “You are still wanted. You are still welcome”?

Maybe it’s you. Maybe it’s someone in your life.

Either way, let’s commit to being a people of love, even when it feels hard. What are some practical actions we might take to help heal and rebuild love?

1.     Write a letter (even if you don’t send it). Express your feelings to God or to someone who has hurt you. Sometimes, writing helps to process pain and take the first step toward healing.

2.     Identify one safe person to talk to. Healing happens in community. Find someone you trust to share your struggles with. They might encourage or support you and pray with you. And even if they don’t give you advice, sometimes talking about a situation out loud helps you think through it.

3.     Pray for someone who has hurt you. Even if you’re not ready to forgive, bring their name before God, and pray for their well-being as well as for yours. This step softens the heart over time.

4.     Reflect on Psalm 27. Read it daily. Underline the words that speak to your heart. Let God’s steadfast love be your foundation.

5.     Show love in a small way. A kind word, a gesture of encouragement, or a simple act of generosity can begin to rebuild relationships.

David concludes Psalm 27 with words that point to the path forward: "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."

This waiting isn't passive resignation. It's active surrender—choosing to remain open to God's love even when it feels difficult, even when past experiences make us want to close our hearts.

Jesus' words in Luke also point to future. hope: "You will not see me again until you say, 'Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.'"

Love is not easy. Trust is not simple. God’s love is unwavering.

When we struggle with broken relationships, when we feel like love is too hard, we can look to Jesus—the One who keeps reaching for us, again and again.

So today, if love feels hard, know this: God’s love is already reaching out to you and holding you. Jesus offers his unending love to you – don’t reject it. Embrace it, today, and let his love embrace you.

And through that love, you can learn to love and trust again.

Let us pray: Jesus, our Lord and our Friend, you love us, even when we reject it. You give us your grace, even when we turn away. Thank you for loving us endlessly and patiently. Thank you for never giving up on us but remaining relentless in the way you love us.

            Today, someone listening knows what it is to have their love rejected. Others know how it feels to be excluded, hurt, or offended. We have all known the pain of broken relationships and grudges.

            Touch our hearts with your gracious love and fill us with your Spirit of mercy and peace. Grant us all the courage to love as Jesus loves and to take a step toward healing in our lives today. In your name we pray. Amen.

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[i] Bradford Robinson, “The Pain of Rejected Love,” https://sermoncentral.com/sermons/the-pain-of-rejected-love-bradford-robinson-sermon-on-god-the-father-58751, 05/30/2003. Access 3/15/2025. Adapted.

[ii] Psalm 27:10.

[iii] “From Rejection to Redemption,” LoveServes, https://loveserves.org/rejection-to-redemption/. Accessed 03/15/2025.