"Shaping Lives: Every Mans Call to Influence" - Message for 06/15/2025
Let’s
be honest—one of the universal experiences of Father’s Day is the dad joke. You
know the ones:
· You came in the house
and said, “I’m hungry,” and your Dad said, “Hi, Hungry! I’m Dad.”
· Why did the scarecrow
win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
· What do you call fake
spaghetti? An impasta.
· Did you hear the rumor
about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it.
· Why can't a nose be 12
inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
· What
did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt.
They
make us groan. They make us laugh. And like it or not, they stick with us.
But
Father’s Day is more than just a celebration of puns and grilling skills. It
can stir up a whole mix of emotions. For some of us, Father’s Day brings warm
memories of love, guidance, and strength. For others, it brings grief,
disappointment, or a sense of loss. Maybe your dad wasn’t present. Maybe you’re
missing him today. Or maybe you’ve longed to be a father but that door hasn’t
opened.
That’s
why today’s message isn’t just about biological dads. It’s about every man
who’s ever influenced a young person for good. It’s about the mentors, the
coaches, the uncles, the neighbors, the friends. In fact, it’s about every
person who’s ever shaped a life for good. You don’t have to be a Dad to shape a
life. You just have to be someone who shows up.
When I
think about the people who helped shape my life, not all of them were related
to me. One man who made a difference was the guy who helped me learn to sing
tenor when I moved from junior to senior choir in 7th grade. I sat
next to him at rehearsal, but we also developed a friendship. He asked me about
my life and helped me grow in faith. It wasn’t until years later that I
realized he had shaped me more than I knew.
The
truth is, we all have someone who influenced us simply by being present. And
today, on Father’s Day, I want to speak directly to the men in the room—fathers
and grandfathers, yes—but also mentors, coaches, uncles, neighbors, teachers,
and friends. Because no matter your title, you are shaping someone. You
are having an influence – the question is, “What kind of influence?”
We are
living in a time when many young people are starved for guidance. According to
Barna Group research, only 36% of young adults, ages 18-25, say they have a
mentor in their lives who helped them navigate faith and life decisions. Yet,
among those who do, the impact is profound: they are twice as likely to say
their life has meaning and purpose, and they report significantly greater
satisfaction in their spiritual lives. They were more likely to attend church,
pray, and maintain hope during difficult times.
Studies
from MENTOR: The National Mentoring Partnership show that mentoring makes a
difference—young adults with a mentor are 55% more likely to enroll in college,
78% more likely to volunteer regularly, and 90% more interested in becoming
mentors themselves.
Take Malik,
a 10th-grade student from Cincinnati. He was on the verge of failing school and
drifting into isolation. His mother asked a friend from church to connect him
with a man in the congregation named James. James wasn’t a pastor. He wasn’t
even a parent. But he showed up—week after week—for tutoring, encouragement,
and basketball in the park.
Three
years later, Malik is thriving. He’s in community college now. When asked what
made the difference, Malik said:
“Mr.
James didn’t just help me with math. He helped me believe I mattered.”
The
next generation isn’t looking for perfection. They’re craving presence. They
are asking: Is there anyone who sees me? Anyone who will show me how to
live? And we have the chance to answer: Yes. I see you. I’m here.
Let’s
go back to the Scripture. In Deuteronomy 6, Moses speaks to Israel at a
defining moment. They’re on the brink of the Promised Land, and he says,
essentially: Don’t forget who God is, and don’t forget to pass it on. “Hear, O
Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your
heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.”
This
isn’t just private devotion. It’s communal, generational. The Shema, as it’s
known, is a call to embody love for God in every part of life—at home, on the
road, in the daily routines of waking and sleeping. And it’s a command to teach
that love to the next generation. Not just with words—but with our lives.
Historically,
the Shema became a foundational daily prayer for Jewish people. It was—and
still is—recited morning and evening, posted on doorways, and placed in
phylacteries worn during prayer. It shapes Jewish identity by reminding them
daily that faith isn’t just believed—it’s lived, practiced, and passed down.
It’s their spiritual heartbeat.
In 1
Corinthians 4, Paul describes himself as a “father” to the believers. He says,
“Even if you had countless guardians, you do not have many fathers. I became
your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel.” He’s not flexing his
authority. He’s offering himself as a living example. “Imitate me,” he says.
“Watch how I live.”
When
fathers or father figures lead by example in following Christ, it makes a
profound impression on the spiritual direction of the family. And it’s
important to realize that fatherhood in scripture isn’t just biological – it’s
relational. So, anyone who can build a relationship can shape a life. Children learn
about integrity, grace, compassion, perseverance, and love as they observe the
men and women in their lives living out faith authentically.
The
importance of love and compassion is absolutely critical to effective Christian
parenting. In particular, research suggests that many men don’t seem to
understand how desperately their sons need their love, affection, approval, and
verbal affirmation. Boys crave a certain amount of appropriate physical touch
from their dads. Let’s be honest: Our culture tells us that men should downplay
the importance of emotion, tenderness, and understanding in their interactions
with their sons, but this can be a potentially damaging approach.
While
my Dad was in the stepdown unit at the former Good Samaritan Hospital in Dayton following his heart attack and
emergency triple bypass in 2002, I sat with him one day. He took my hand, and
suddenly, he began to cry – not something I’d ever seen my Dad do. Eventually,
he said, “I’m sorry that I never told you ‘I love you.’ My Dad never said those
words to me, and so I’ve never said them to you. But I do love you, and I’m
proud of you.” He went on to pour out his heart that day, and in the weeks
ahead as I took opportunities to sit with him during his recovery at home. After
this time in his life, his outlook on life changed, and faith became a greater
priority for him. He helped encourage his granddaughters – my sister’s children
– and regularly told them he loved them.
So, Paul
sends Timothy to help the Corinthian believers understand what that looks like
in real time—Timothy becomes the embodied message. This is God’s model for
discipleship: not just content, but character. Not just belief, but behavior.
What’s
amazing is that God doesn’t shape us from a distance. God walks with us. God
sent prophets, teachers, and leaders to guide the people. Then, God took on
human form to live among us as Jesus. Jesus walked among people; he taught
disciples and others. He demonstrated God’s love in his ministry and in his act
of giving himself for us out of love.
This
is still God’s design for spiritual growth: people shaping people. Adults
guiding youth. Believers forming disciples through intentional, relational
presence. Discipleship is never just about information—it’s about imitation.
It’s about living a life worth copying.
That’s
what mentoring is: a commitment to make our faith visible and available to
others. That’s what fatherhood is—biological or spiritual—a calling to shape
another’s life through love, example, and presence.
Grandfathers
and grandmothers, you have a unique role to play as spiritual teachers for your
grandchildren. Often, grandchildren will be more open to listening to their
grandparents share stories of their lives and their faith. So, tell your
grandchildren how you’ve seen God work in your life and in the world. Share
your life skills, like woodworking or gardening, your wisdom, and Christian
principles with your grandkids. Pray for them and encourage them. They are watching. The reality is that everyone
shapes someone. The question is how.
So,
what can you do? Here are five steps every man—and really, every person—can
take:
1. Look
Around You – Ask God to show you someone—just one person—you might intentionally
encourage and write that name down. Maybe it’s a neighbor, a grandchild, a teen at
church, or a young adult at work. Begin praying for them, asking God to open
opportunities to connect with that person.
2. Speak
a word of blessing or
affirmation to them – by note, text, or in person: Words are powerful. The
writer of the Old Testament wisdom book of Proverbs says, 15:4, “The soothing
tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit,” and
in 16:24, “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the
bones.” Your words of blessing and affirmation bring life and healing to
others.
3. Spend
one hour of time with them – doing something simple and relational. Mentoring
isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about presence. A coffee once a month.
A shared hobby. This is an opportunity for you to live what you say about your
faith. Be honest, open, and transparent, sharing your life appropriately. Celebrate
growth. Model what following Jesus looks like in everyday life.
4. Begin
each day with this prayer: “Lord, who are you calling me to shape
today?” Look, listen, expect God to answer, and be an example in your words and
actions.
5. Invite
another person to commit to investing in the next generation alongside you – Don’t go it alone. God designed us to be in
relationship and to work together. Sometimes, it’s easier to serve as a mentor
or in any other way when someone shares it with you.
Jon
Sommer had been mentoring a young man for over seven months, helping him
through some deep wounds stemming from rejection, abuse, and poor choices. Their
time together was hands-on: meeting early on Saturdays, sharing breakfast,
working outdoors, and reading Christian materials. Jon thought the young man
was making good progress, when one day, his confessed to repeating past
mistakes. Rather than getting angry, Jon vulnerably shared how much he cared,
saying, “Do you know that you have hurt me?” God helped him use that moment to
show the young man how his decisions affected others and how his actions grieved
Jesus. That moment transformed their relationship and changed each of their
lives.
As a
church, we want to be a place where the next generation is shaped—not just
entertained but deeply formed. That means calling all of us—men and women—to
step into the sacred work of influence. That means, we have to stop judging
parents who choose other activities for their kids than church. What they are
telling us – as much as it hurts – is that the other activities are more
meaningful for them and their kids. Therefore, we have to listen to them for
opportunities to connect with them on their terms. It’s what God did through
Jesus by coming in human flesh to live with us.
Let’s
be a church where spiritual fathers and mothers rise up. Let’s be a community
where young people are surrounded by mentors who love Jesus and live it out.
Let’s commit to shaping lives, one relationship at a time.
Let’s pray: Gracious
and loving God,
Thank You for meeting
us here today, with truth that speaks to our hearts and grace that reaches into
every corner of our lives. You see us as we are, yet You love us too much to
leave us there. You shape us with care and call us toward a life of purpose,
love, and faith.
Let the words we’ve
heard take root in us and grow into action. Shape our lives, Lord, so that they
reflect Your love to a world that’s longing for meaning and light.
Help us remember that
we don’t walk alone. You go before us, walk beside us, and dwell within us. In
the name of Jesus, our Savior and guide, we pray. Amen.
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